Ok, so weigh day was last Thursday... and it was a bad result noticeable by the absence of any post.
I don't understand it. I was SO good all week, and yet when I jumped on the Wii to weigh in I had put on 1kg / 2lbs!
I was talking to my Aunty about it, and she said that it's probably because I am building up muscle and it weighs more than fat. I get that, I understand it... but I can't even put it down to that.
I've not been exercising!
Shame on me for that... but honestly, when I've cut out potatoes, rice, pasta, juice, coke and even last week chocolate - how do you put ON weight?
ARGH!
It makes me so frustrated! Why do I even bother?!?!
I went away for the weekend to see my boyfriend this weekend... disappointed in myself, I ate Burger King twice and had three cans of coke. I regret it now and that's certainly not going to help me get a better result this week. So why did I do it?
I really need to learn to not get so disheartened and slip backwards but use it to motivate me to try harder.
I'd like to say that I will get up early in the morning and go for a big long walk before work... but let's be honest. I probably won't.
Showing posts with label weigh in. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weigh in. Show all posts
Tuesday, 22 March 2011
Thursday, 10 March 2011
It's weigh day - No.7
I am really hating myself right now. I've had a mixed week, I've been good with all my main meals (weekend excluded), but I have had far too much chocolate. I'm finding that hard to let go if I'm honest.
But, I wasn't entirely sure that I had been bad enough to have seen what I saw this morning.
GAIN - 1.5KG
Shit.
Bollocks.
Fuck.
I'm really upset with myself. Why can't I get my fat arse out and walking of a morning? Why can't I resist the urge to buy a piece of chocolate when I go into a shop?
So, that means in almost 8 weeks, I have lost a grand freaking total of just 3.3kgs. That's nothing, less than 500 grams a week.
This week, I really must be more dedicated. I want to lose 3kgs next week to make up for it.
I really really really am hating myself right now.
But, then why am I so surprised? Did I really think that a couple of lentil curries and salads would make up for the junk I ate at the weekend or the chocolates I ate during the week? I guess I had kind of deluded myself into thinking that. I used to not think at all about what I ate, and have maintained the weight I am now for the best part of a decade I guess. So, I figured given that I have changed sooooo much, I would still lose. Naive. Stupid. Fucked up.
Urgh.
But, I wasn't entirely sure that I had been bad enough to have seen what I saw this morning.
GAIN - 1.5KG
Shit.
Bollocks.
Fuck.
I'm really upset with myself. Why can't I get my fat arse out and walking of a morning? Why can't I resist the urge to buy a piece of chocolate when I go into a shop?
So, that means in almost 8 weeks, I have lost a grand freaking total of just 3.3kgs. That's nothing, less than 500 grams a week.
This week, I really must be more dedicated. I want to lose 3kgs next week to make up for it.
I really really really am hating myself right now.
But, then why am I so surprised? Did I really think that a couple of lentil curries and salads would make up for the junk I ate at the weekend or the chocolates I ate during the week? I guess I had kind of deluded myself into thinking that. I used to not think at all about what I ate, and have maintained the weight I am now for the best part of a decade I guess. So, I figured given that I have changed sooooo much, I would still lose. Naive. Stupid. Fucked up.
Urgh.
Thursday, 24 February 2011
Psyching myself up to jump on the scales
So, today was weigh day and I jumped onto the Wii Fit... preparing for a bad result.
I've not been good 100% of the time, and probably not even 80%. I've had bread, pasta, cheese and far too much chocolate. But most of the time I have been sticking to avoiding the foods I know I should avoid. I have managed to stay clear of Coke (a major addiction for many years), and when I did indulge in a can a few weeks ago I was reallygutted surprised to find that I didn't actually enjoy it. I've not been drinking juice either.
Although, having said that I know I've not been drinking enough water and for some reason just the thought of drinking a plain glass of water was turning me off ?? So, I did get some Ribena syrup and have been making myself drink more water by adding some sugar flavour to it.
I was thinking... maybe it was a way of self-sabotage? Because I had put on 2lbs the week before last, I kind of just lost the will to keep going, which made me so nervous to jump on the scales last week that I just avoided it altogether. In between times, I ate even whole blocks of chocolate to myself, bowls of pasta and toasted cheese sandwiches. Not all the time, mind you. But far too often that I should have.
I had a bit of a talk to myself one night, and just reminded myself why I am putting myself through this. To have a baby. But it's also become more than that too... my back is getting bad, and my knee joints are hurting. I'm not even 30 yet.
So, I made better decisions more and more often and went for a few walks.
And although I knew I must have limited my 'damage' by this weigh in, I wasn't expecting such a good result. Yay!
Anyway, here's day two of my snack breakfast. Exchanged a banana for a kiwi fruit this morning. I loveeeeeee banana, it's my favourite fruit by far. But I'm a really fussy banana eater. I can't stand it if they are over ripe, or even just ripe. I prefer them slightly green... mmmmm. Anything else, even just the smell of someone eating a ripe banana can make me flee a room.
I also added some freshly cut up coconut today, which was really nice.
I've not been good 100% of the time, and probably not even 80%. I've had bread, pasta, cheese and far too much chocolate. But most of the time I have been sticking to avoiding the foods I know I should avoid. I have managed to stay clear of Coke (a major addiction for many years), and when I did indulge in a can a few weeks ago I was really
Although, having said that I know I've not been drinking enough water and for some reason just the thought of drinking a plain glass of water was turning me off ?? So, I did get some Ribena syrup and have been making myself drink more water by adding some sugar flavour to it.
I was thinking... maybe it was a way of self-sabotage? Because I had put on 2lbs the week before last, I kind of just lost the will to keep going, which made me so nervous to jump on the scales last week that I just avoided it altogether. In between times, I ate even whole blocks of chocolate to myself, bowls of pasta and toasted cheese sandwiches. Not all the time, mind you. But far too often that I should have.
I had a bit of a talk to myself one night, and just reminded myself why I am putting myself through this. To have a baby. But it's also become more than that too... my back is getting bad, and my knee joints are hurting. I'm not even 30 yet.
So, I made better decisions more and more often and went for a few walks.
And although I knew I must have limited my 'damage' by this weigh in, I wasn't expecting such a good result. Yay!
Anyway, here's day two of my snack breakfast. Exchanged a banana for a kiwi fruit this morning. I loveeeeeee banana, it's my favourite fruit by far. But I'm a really fussy banana eater. I can't stand it if they are over ripe, or even just ripe. I prefer them slightly green... mmmmm. Anything else, even just the smell of someone eating a ripe banana can make me flee a room.
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| Snack breakfast |
It's weigh day - No.6
Was 122.0 kgs and am now 120.4 kgs so have lost 1.6kgs
(that said, I didn't weigh in week 5, so that's 1.6kgs since week 4)
I'm also thinking of giving up weighing on the Wii Fit cause I find it incredibly frustrating to not get such accurate results. I like to measure in kgs, that's how I have always done it. The Wii gives you results on the first page with your BMI, then in kgs, and then tells you how much you lost in lbs, and then if you view your chart it shows you your losses in stones.
And, I find they never quite equal up.
As an example, last time I weighed the kg amount shown on the Wii was 122kgs. This time it was 120.4 kgs which means I lost 1.6kgs, but the Wii says I lost 4lbs since last time, which is actually 1.8kgs. I know we are talking about a difference of just 200grams, but when you are desperate for every single loss, that 200g is a lot.
(that said, I didn't weigh in week 5, so that's 1.6kgs since week 4)
I'm also thinking of giving up weighing on the Wii Fit cause I find it incredibly frustrating to not get such accurate results. I like to measure in kgs, that's how I have always done it. The Wii gives you results on the first page with your BMI, then in kgs, and then tells you how much you lost in lbs, and then if you view your chart it shows you your losses in stones.
And, I find they never quite equal up.
As an example, last time I weighed the kg amount shown on the Wii was 122kgs. This time it was 120.4 kgs which means I lost 1.6kgs, but the Wii says I lost 4lbs since last time, which is actually 1.8kgs. I know we are talking about a difference of just 200grams, but when you are desperate for every single loss, that 200g is a lot.
Monday, 21 February 2011
Body shots and graph - week 5.5
OK, so I decided to document my weight loss with photographs as well so hopefully I can see the change in my shape etc. So, this is the first of what I will try and make a regular occurance... yep, I am going to give regular blogging a shot! haha
OK so as you can see, I'm not entirely comfortable with not being anonymous. Maybe one day, but not too sure about that. It's not out of embarrassment or anything, just that I don't want people I know or that know of me professionally to stumble across such a personal space!
Also, here is the graph I've decided to do to keep on track. I've set myself a target of 0.5kgs per week, which I think is realistic and if I lose a little more than that hopefully it will mean I will still be on target when I reach plateaus.
Although I am gutted that it means I won't reach my target of a BMI of under 30 before July next year, they say that slow and steady wins the race. And, let's face it... it's not like it went on overnight... well, actually, sometimes it did! Effing PCOS!
I would LOVEEEE of course to reach my goal MUCH MUCH MUCH sooner than that, but by setting realistic expectations at the start I am not setting myself up for failure. Well, that's the plan anyway.
As you can see from that, although I put on 2lbs last week and didn't weigh this week (I have presumed I've stayed the same) I am still on track (thanks to a great loss the 1st week of 4lbs!).
I think I will make Monday's weigh day and so will weigh tomorrow. I might even start using this blog as a food diary.
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| 122kgs taken on 20/02/2011 at week 5.5 |
OK so as you can see, I'm not entirely comfortable with not being anonymous. Maybe one day, but not too sure about that. It's not out of embarrassment or anything, just that I don't want people I know or that know of me professionally to stumble across such a personal space!
Also, here is the graph I've decided to do to keep on track. I've set myself a target of 0.5kgs per week, which I think is realistic and if I lose a little more than that hopefully it will mean I will still be on target when I reach plateaus.
Although I am gutted that it means I won't reach my target of a BMI of under 30 before July next year, they say that slow and steady wins the race. And, let's face it... it's not like it went on overnight... well, actually, sometimes it did! Effing PCOS!
I would LOVEEEE of course to reach my goal MUCH MUCH MUCH sooner than that, but by setting realistic expectations at the start I am not setting myself up for failure. Well, that's the plan anyway.
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| Weight loss target as at 20/02/11 at 5.5 weeks |
As you can see from that, although I put on 2lbs last week and didn't weigh this week (I have presumed I've stayed the same) I am still on track (thanks to a great loss the 1st week of 4lbs!).
I think I will make Monday's weigh day and so will weigh tomorrow. I might even start using this blog as a food diary.
The weigh ins
So, I decided to start a new post for this as the last one was becoming a bit of a ramble.
I started my newdiet lifestyle on January 13th. Here are my weekly weigh-ins since then:
13 Jan 2011: 124.8 kgs
20 Jan 2011: 123.0 kgs
27 Jan 2011: 122.1 kgs
04 Feb 2011: 121.1 kgs
10 Feb 2011: 122.0 kgs
17 Feb 2011: was too chicken to weigh in
And there we have it. I lovedddd seeing the weight go down those first three weigh ins and so bummed at myself on the fourth week. This week, I was too scared at seeing the number go up again I didn't weigh in. I won't make that mistake again. In fact, I might weigh in the morning when I get up, and change my weigh in days from Thursday to Monday. Maybe.
So although I am slightly heavier now than when I started this blog a whole freakin year ago, I am going to take the positives as they come and not dwell on the past. A month ago I was about 3kgs heavier than I am not, and that's good in anyone's book - but especially for a woman with PCOS.
It's not as easy for us to lose weight as it is for other women... not that losing weight is easy for anyone, but its particularly difficult if you have PCOS - lucky us! Especially as its so much easier for us to put on weight too.
Such a joyful condition to live with.
So, my next goal is to lose get my weight under 120kgs for the first time in absolutely AGES which I aim to do in the next two weigh ins!!! And then my next goal is to lose 1 stone, which I am aiming to do on the next one after that.
I started my new
13 Jan 2011: 124.8 kgs
20 Jan 2011: 123.0 kgs
27 Jan 2011: 122.1 kgs
04 Feb 2011: 121.1 kgs
10 Feb 2011: 122.0 kgs
17 Feb 2011: was too chicken to weigh in
And there we have it. I lovedddd seeing the weight go down those first three weigh ins and so bummed at myself on the fourth week. This week, I was too scared at seeing the number go up again I didn't weigh in. I won't make that mistake again. In fact, I might weigh in the morning when I get up, and change my weigh in days from Thursday to Monday. Maybe.
So although I am slightly heavier now than when I started this blog a whole freakin year ago, I am going to take the positives as they come and not dwell on the past. A month ago I was about 3kgs heavier than I am not, and that's good in anyone's book - but especially for a woman with PCOS.
It's not as easy for us to lose weight as it is for other women... not that losing weight is easy for anyone, but its particularly difficult if you have PCOS - lucky us! Especially as its so much easier for us to put on weight too.
Such a joyful condition to live with.
So, my next goal is to lose get my weight under 120kgs for the first time in absolutely AGES which I aim to do in the next two weigh ins!!! And then my next goal is to lose 1 stone, which I am aiming to do on the next one after that.
Wednesday, 30 June 2010
Baby talk
Another hiatus. Which means more months down the drain where I haven't actually done anything super pro-active about getting my weight down.
But, I am much more motivated than ever now because the BF and I had the discussion about our future etc and have decided that we will start to seriously try for a baby next year. He said was ready right now, but we both know... well, I know... that there is no point actively trying now before I have my operation.
That said, we are not using any birth control now and I feel like we're moving in the right direction.
I turn 30 in the first part of next year, and I seriously don't want to be still having this same discussion with myself then ("Come on, you have to get serious. You can do this. Let's start for real tomorrow"). So, I've set myself some absolute deadlines.
By the 1st of December, I want to have lost at least 18kgs and then I can ring up my GP and get him to schedule the specialist appointment for me again. I can then tell the specialist that I have lost half of what I need to lose, and can we schedule the operation.
Given that we are working with the NHS, I figured by the time that I get to have this appointment with the specialist and by the time he schedules the operation, it will be around March next year and by then (1st of April) I will have lost the remaining 18kgs.
So, I need to lose the first 18kgs in 5 months and the second 18kgs in 4 months.
Perhaps the first 18kgs will come off much quicker than the second lot, in which case I will just move the schedule around. OMG imagine if I could do it even quicker than that!! There's 24 weeks left til the start of December, so losing 18kgs seems entirely possible, right?? That's less than 1kg per week. I can do that.
Basically, as soon as I get the first 18kgs off I am making that call.
Also, my sister is moving to London until December soon. She knows about the baby plans and is super super excited and has promised to help me and make the time she stays just like boot camp. It's just what I need! We are going to join some sports teams, go swimming and do early morning walks.
No more coke either. It's been 6 days.
Tomorrow I will do a weigh-in and get shit down on paper so to speak. I am sure I will have put on weight since the last time I blogged. Urgh. But.....
I'm back baby!
But, I am much more motivated than ever now because the BF and I had the discussion about our future etc and have decided that we will start to seriously try for a baby next year. He said was ready right now, but we both know... well, I know... that there is no point actively trying now before I have my operation.
That said, we are not using any birth control now and I feel like we're moving in the right direction.
I turn 30 in the first part of next year, and I seriously don't want to be still having this same discussion with myself then ("Come on, you have to get serious. You can do this. Let's start for real tomorrow"). So, I've set myself some absolute deadlines.
By the 1st of December, I want to have lost at least 18kgs and then I can ring up my GP and get him to schedule the specialist appointment for me again. I can then tell the specialist that I have lost half of what I need to lose, and can we schedule the operation.
Given that we are working with the NHS, I figured by the time that I get to have this appointment with the specialist and by the time he schedules the operation, it will be around March next year and by then (1st of April) I will have lost the remaining 18kgs.
So, I need to lose the first 18kgs in 5 months and the second 18kgs in 4 months.
Perhaps the first 18kgs will come off much quicker than the second lot, in which case I will just move the schedule around. OMG imagine if I could do it even quicker than that!! There's 24 weeks left til the start of December, so losing 18kgs seems entirely possible, right?? That's less than 1kg per week. I can do that.
Basically, as soon as I get the first 18kgs off I am making that call.
Also, my sister is moving to London until December soon. She knows about the baby plans and is super super excited and has promised to help me and make the time she stays just like boot camp. It's just what I need! We are going to join some sports teams, go swimming and do early morning walks.
No more coke either. It's been 6 days.
Tomorrow I will do a weigh-in and get shit down on paper so to speak. I am sure I will have put on weight since the last time I blogged. Urgh. But.....
I'm back baby!
Monday, 23 November 2009
Setting achievable targets
I've made Monday's 'weigh in' day.
Current
Weight: 121.3 kgs | BMI: 41
Target
Weight: 87 kgs | BMI: 29.4
That means I have 34.3 kgs to lose. God help me. I was sitting here thinking, "Ok, so how much is an achievable amount to lose per week?" I want to set my self obtainable goals, so I feel like I am getting somewhere. Is half a kilo a week to low? Should I try and aim to lose 1kg per week?
So, for now.. I've decided that I'll stick to 0.5 kg per week, that seems pretty achievable with just small lifestyle and diet change. Ideally, I will kick my targets fair up the arse and be way ahead of myself. Awesome. But if I am only just meeting those targets, then atleast I can see that I'm 'on track' and getting somewhere. Not beating myself up for not reaching goals.
At half a kilo per week with 34.3 kgs to lose, that will take meforever 68 weeks. The unwritten goal within that, is I want to achieve that goal before Christmas 2010... so, one year away.
Does one set mini goals? And congratulate ones self for achieving said mini goals? I've never really taken this whole weight loss thing seriously. I've always been fairly happy with my size. Well, if not fairly happy then I've not been unhappy enough to do anything about it.
I guess I've been a fortunate fatty. I didn't grow up with my parents or siblings or other kids at school criticising my weight. Well, actually looking back I always felt and thought I was fat but I really wasn't. I just developed earlier and was much taller than other girls in my year (and the boys too for that matter!), so I always felt larger than I was. I've always had friends that accepted me for who I am, never found it too difficult to get nice clothes, carry my weight rather well and had loads of male attention. So, my weight never seemed to be that much of an issue.
Until now.
So, that said. I am going to celebrate the mini victories where I can. My first 'mini target' will be reaching 115kgs, and that will take my BMI under the 40 mark. How shall I reward myself?
Current
Weight: 121.3 kgs | BMI: 41
Target
Weight: 87 kgs | BMI: 29.4
That means I have 34.3 kgs to lose. God help me. I was sitting here thinking, "Ok, so how much is an achievable amount to lose per week?" I want to set my self obtainable goals, so I feel like I am getting somewhere. Is half a kilo a week to low? Should I try and aim to lose 1kg per week?
So, for now.. I've decided that I'll stick to 0.5 kg per week, that seems pretty achievable with just small lifestyle and diet change. Ideally, I will kick my targets fair up the arse and be way ahead of myself. Awesome. But if I am only just meeting those targets, then atleast I can see that I'm 'on track' and getting somewhere. Not beating myself up for not reaching goals.
At half a kilo per week with 34.3 kgs to lose, that will take me
Does one set mini goals? And congratulate ones self for achieving said mini goals? I've never really taken this whole weight loss thing seriously. I've always been fairly happy with my size. Well, if not fairly happy then I've not been unhappy enough to do anything about it.
I guess I've been a fortunate fatty. I didn't grow up with my parents or siblings or other kids at school criticising my weight. Well, actually looking back I always felt and thought I was fat but I really wasn't. I just developed earlier and was much taller than other girls in my year (and the boys too for that matter!), so I always felt larger than I was. I've always had friends that accepted me for who I am, never found it too difficult to get nice clothes, carry my weight rather well and had loads of male attention. So, my weight never seemed to be that much of an issue.
Until now.
So, that said. I am going to celebrate the mini victories where I can. My first 'mini target' will be reaching 115kgs, and that will take my BMI under the 40 mark. How shall I reward myself?
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